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So please, for the sake of your sex life, spend some dedicated time in front of a mirror. Let's start with basics, shall we? To some, this section might seem like common sense… However, to some of you reading, the concept of decent hygiene has managed to elude you even into your adulthood.
Before going out on a date, or to a bar to pick up girls, or having a girl over for a dick appointment, you best take a shower. Even if it's just a body shower, please fucking shower. Rinse off your day and all the sweat that came with it before you plan on encountering any ladies. Don't have time for a shower? Take a whore's bath with some wipes or a washcloth. You'll feel fresher, and a once-over with a wet-nap could make a world of a difference.
When it comes down to it, you're going to want to smell damn good if you're looking to hookup. This brings us to the topic of cologne… Axe almost got it right with their mantra of pit-pit-chest because you should be applying cologne to three areas but not necessarily your armpits… because your deodorant should take care of your pit stench that being said, please wear deodorant.
Spray the inside of one of your wrists with cologne, rub together with your opposite wrist, and dab behind your ears.
Then either spray your chest or, if your cologne is especially strong, do the patented spray-delay-and-walk-away. Spray your cologne in the air, wait a moment for it to float down through the air, and then walk through the cloud of cologne with your eyes and mouth shut, you don't want to go blind or inhale that shit. This will make sure you're properly perfumed and keep you from smelling too harshly of cologne. You should also be making sure that you're brushing and flossing regularly.
Girls will notice yellow teeth. And it's a huge turn off. If she plans on kissing you, she doesn't want a visual confirmation that your dental hygiene is anything less than stellar. Are you notorious for getting stuff caught in your teeth? Keep these floss things in your desk or your car, along with some Wet Ones for that whore's bath I mentioned earlier!
Okay, let's talk about your scalp. Dandruff is common with both men and women; it seems more prevalent with men because women manage it better. If you're hoping a girl is going to want to run her hands through your hair, you better not be flakey! Get some medicated shampoo, and tea tree oil if needed, and keep your shit flake-free if you have this problem. Another thing that girls pay close attention to is a guys hands… more specifically the length and cleanliness of his nails.
If your nails are too long, what girl is going to want them inside them? If they're dirty, they're definitely not going to let you slip a finger in, no matter how good the make-out sesh is. So keep your shit short. Keep your shit trimmed. Keep your shit clean. If you can't do this yourself, I highly recommend getting a manicure — emphasis on man. Manicures are incredibly relaxing and cheap especially if you're not getting polish as the ladies do, but if you're into that I don't judge.
Throw down 15 dollars every few weeks to get your nails done and a pretty killer forearm massage. I highly recommend these for after an intense upper-body day at the gym. A lot of nail ladies will massage your neck too; it's the bomb. Last, but certainly not least, let's talk bout man-scaping. If you're trying to get laid, you're going to need to do something with your hair-down-there.
You don't have to go total bald-eagle unless your hookup has made it clear that that's the hairstyle she prefers for your peen , but you certainly should trim.
Carefully trim your pubes to a reasonable length before you even think about grabbing a razor please be careful not to cut your balls off. Then make sure you exfoliate a little bit sugar and coconut oil work well if you don't have any storebought on hand before lathering up with soap or shaving cream to shave. Moisturize after, with unscented lotion or coconut oil, this will keep you from getting razor burn.
As for the rest of your body hair, I'm not going to tell you what to do with it. If not, let it grow. That's totally up to you. I don't care what you do with it as long as you're clean. Another extremely vital component of your physical presence is your clothing. Dress to impress, am I right?
Don't dress as the man you are, dress as the man you want to be… or, more fittingly, don't dress for the women you've had, dress for the woman you want. You don't need to be clued into fashion at all to be stylish; in my opinion, fashion and style are two completely separate things. That being said, if you have your ear to the ground when it comes to trends, good for you!
My only advice is to not go full on hype-beast when you're out with a potential hookup or out trying to hunt for one. If you show up in some wild outfit, you're likely going to either come across as too into-yourself or as too difficult to approach. If you're dressed like you just rolled off the runway, you might be too intimidating. You want to be stylish and dress like yourself, but you also want to be approachable. So save your drop-crotch pants and your Yeezy esc outfit for after you've already banged the girl.
Make sure you're yourself while dressed appropriately for the place you're at. If the event you're at calls for a crazy outfit — a la EDC or an event of the like — then that's okay. However, if you're going to a more casual place or event — like a smaller music venue or a bar, for example, — then make sure you're toning it down.
If you're not super into fashion, going over the top might not be something you're worried about at all. That being said, it's always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed.
There's no harm in wearing a button down out or throwing on a blazer if you're unsure about how formal you need to be on a night out. If you're unsure, I recommend taking the formality one baby-step up from what you think is okay. Being slightly over-dressed will make you seem more adult and believe me, ladies like a guy who can rock some form-fitting slacks.
Have a designated power outfit for going out. Have an outfit in your closet that you know you look good in and feel like a badass in. This way if you don't know what to wear on any given night, you always have something ready to go that you know you're going to feel confident in. Facial hair for a man is either a thing of pride or a huge point of anxiety. There doesn't seem to be much in between.
And because facial hair is on your face it's just as important — if not more so — than what you choose to wear. If you're capable of growing a full-on mountain man beard then, by all means, go for it.
Beards are sexy, but nasty beards are the absolute worst. There should be nothing in your beard other than some nice-smelling beard oil. Your face foliage should be completely free of crumbs and other debris that might find their way into your facial plumage. To prevent your magnificent whiskers from becoming any less than well-groomed wash your beard, oil it, and keep it well trimmed.
If you don't trust yourself around scissors, then find the best barbershop in town and make a regular customer out of yourself. And when you're out on dates, hanging with a regular hookup, or going out on the town, keep a comb in your pocket.
This way you can keep any crumbs out of your beard and keep it looking bomb for the ladies. Now, if there is any doubt that your facial hair actually connects or that it looks good… it's time to be honest with yourself. Don't try to attempt going full-on-brawny-man if your facial hair looks more like fuzz than forest. Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline.
Or just accept that you can't grow a beard and embrace the babyface. If you're expecting to bring a lady friend back to your place, the state of your apartment is going to be just as important as your state of dress — if not slightly more important. Similar to your outfit, your apartment is a direct reflection of you and whether or not you're an absolute mess.
So if your apartment looks like a hurricane just passed through, you have some work to do my friend…. Does your apartment remotely resemble the aftermath of a frat party? Can you remember the last time you did dishes? How old is the food in your fridge? Are your sheets soaked in so much bodily-fluids that they're stiff?
Dude, get your shit together. If you want to bring a girl back to your place, you shouldn't have to worry about losing her in a mountain of laundry or that stack of empty pizza boxes collapsing on her. If you want to get laid and have her potentially coming back for more, you need to step up your cleaning game. Before having a girl over, or going out with the expectation of bringing a girl home, clean your fucking house. Do your dishes, or at least hide them in the dishwasher — hell, why not run it while you're at it.
Put your laundry away, or at least pile it in your closet and close the door. And change your sheets, or at least make your bed and spray it with some Fabreeze. It doesn't matter how well you dress if your apartment is destroyed.
You're going to look like a slob. And it's embarrassing to hook up with a total slob. While the term "bachelor pad" sounds sexy… homes of single guys are usually a little sad looking. So it might help to scroll through Pinterest — yes, I said it. I said Pinterest — and get some decorating ideas. Obviously this isn't something you should be looking to do hours before a potential hookup opportunity, but taking some time to make your apartment look interesting and cool will help you in the long run.
Find some interesting posters, and if you already have some, put them in frames. You'd be amazed how much of a difference a frame makes. You go from college bro to distinguished young professional in seconds. Buy some candles that don't smell like a thousand flowers. There are some manly, sexy candle scents that you can find at Target or Urban Outfitters go for things with notes of tobacco and vanilla. Buy a throw-blanket, and a couple throw-pillows for your bed.
Get an interesting coffee table book or something. You'll figure it out. This show will give you a good idea of what vibe to go for and make you feel emotions you haven't felt in years. Okay, so I'm a firm believer in a guy owning some sex toys that aren't dedicated to solo male use. If you have a Fleshlight, that's a good start… but that's not going to help satisfy any lady.
You should really invest in a nice external vibrator. You can use these to heighten your masturbatory efforts when you're on your own, but you can easily use them when hooking up with a girl. Both of these are body safe, great quality, and easy to use with an unlubricated condom that's what you should use with sex toys.
And no, they aren't cheap. But you'll appreciate the investment in the long run you can get attachments for masturbating, they're totally worth it and so will any girl you hookup with. Just make sure you make it very clear to her that you are good about sterilizing the toy. Using a condom with it and having toy cleaner or one of these bad-boys handy, will allow both you and your lady friend to play with piece-of-mind knowing that your toys are nice and clean. Having toys on hand, like vibrators, will leave the impression that you're interested in your partner's pleasure which is what every woman wants but seldom gets from a partner.
When you're hoping that your night will end in a hookup, you should channel your inner boy scout and always be prepared. The last thing you want is for things to start escalating only to figure out that neither of you has a condom. Here are a few things that you should always have on you when you're going out or hanging out with a potential hookup: When you're out, trying to woo a girl the last thing you want to do is have to worry about your breath.
Quite frankly, you don't know what your evening is going to throw at you. Yes, you want to be hookup ready, but you also don't want to have to have to worry about what drunk-food and tequila are doing to your breath. So, always keep a pack of gum on you. This way you can go about your night without worrying what your mouth might taste like later. Plus, when you're talking close, and she catches a whiff of mint — instead of beer breath — she'll definitely want to kiss you.
And when a guy suddenly smells fresh after a night out, you usually know that he's set on leaning in for that kiss. Always keep one of these in your pocket for later, because it might end up being just as important to your night as a condom.
Women usually keep a hair tie around their wrist or in their purse. However, they manage to disappear in situations when you need them the most. Hair ties seem to be the most elusive when you're getting ready to give a blowjob. Now I know that carrying one might not seem like your responsibility unless you're the kind of dude who's rocking a man bun.
In that case you have a perfect excuse as to why you have one. I wouldn't recommend wearing one around your wrist unless you have long flowing hair because having a hair tie around your wrist can be just as repelling as a wedding ring. Girls might think that your hair tie belongs to a girlfriend and dodge you as if you were married. So keep the hair tie in your pocket. And if she asks why say that you keep on in case you get lucky. If saying that makes you feel too cocky, then say it belongs to a platonic female friend, and you just so happened to have it on you.
I don't think that a girl should be too concerned as to why you have one because it's not that uncommon for a guy to come across a hair tie in the wild. In some fraternities, they keep hair ties on them in the hopes that they get laid or in case one of their brothers get lucky. If they ask, say that you picked up the habit in college! Okay, this should be really obvious. Obviously try to keep a condom on you if you're trying to get laid… duh. But make sure to keep a few things in mind regarding condoms, like that they actually do expire.
Yes, make sure you're paying attention to the expiration date on your trusty wallet condom. If it's past the date, throw it out and swap it for a new one. Speaking of wallet condoms… that's actually not the best place to put them. Your body heat and the friction from it being kept amongst credit cards will wear the condom down.
Try to keep the condom in a jacket pocket but not the same pocket as your keys! If it looks worn down or like it could have been punctured, toss it. The best place for condoms is in cool dark places. So if you don't feel like carrying them, make sure to keep them bedside at the very least. Though it's always good to have one on you if you're going out, use your judgment. If it looks old and tossed-around, it's probably not going to protect you from anything. Lovability's condoms are probably my absolute favorite because they're packaged in a durable container so less chance of tearing , they don't smell like Autozone, and they're packaged right-side-up which is great for trembling hands.
This next item might not seem as obvious as the others. However, it's very important. I'm a huge proponent of lube. And while lube might not be as important as condoms when it comes to safety, lube is almost vital when it comes to the actual deed. When you're doin' the do after a night out, you might have noticed that while it might be harder for you to perform it's also harder to just get it in to begin with.
Whiskey dick is a catchy phrase, but sometimes women suffer from — for lack of a better phrase — whiskey vagina.
Everyone knows that when you drink you get dehydrated, but what everyone might not know is that dehydration directly effects how wet a girl can get. So if you're planning on drinking pre-hookup, it might be a good idea to keep some lube on you. You can buy little one use packets that you can easily slip in your front pocket. Not your back pocket; that could be a disaster.
If you plan on going back to yours, make sure to keep a bottle of lube in your bedside table along with all your condoms. And make sure you buy plain ol' lube. Don't buy anything that advertising a tingling sensation or that's flavored. Because "tingling" lube usually just straight up burns and flavored lube usually has glucose in it which makes it unsafe for putting it inside a vagina.
When you're trying to get laid on any given night, you have to try. Very seldom is a girl going to just fall into your lap and be willing to go home with you. So, you need to employ a few strategies when hunting for potential hookup prospects. As a dude, you're usually expected to be on the offensive when it comes to asking to hang out or hookup. Here are a few ways to do that: When it comes to texting, no one ever wants to be the one texting first.
Especially if you've been left on read or you were the last one to respond to a dying conversation. It takes some balls, but boy can it be worth it.
If there's a girl in your phone who you've been flirting with or have hooked up in the past shoot her a text and hope for the best. Send something subtly flirty and be direct with what you want. But don't be too direct; no girl wants to get a text that says something like, "hey, we should have sex". So be direct without being too candid, something like "Hey! What are you up to tonight? What are your plans for this weekend? I'd love to see you" gives off a flirty vibe without being too overtly sexual.
Throw in a winky emoji or a smiley face for good measure. I know that texting first, especially double texting, can be a point of anxiety for most but if you want to get anywhere with a girl you're going to have to be okay with taking a risk. If you're nervous about what she might say send the text and then walk away from your phone. This way you won't feel tempted to hover over your phone in anticipation.
Though throwing your phone across your room will keep you from texting other potential hookups. So cast your net wide and send a couple flirty text to try to make plans, but instead of tossing your phone into an abyss put some girls you're particularly nervous about on do not disturb. You'll be free to text other girls or scroll down Twitter without feeling too anxious about responses rolling in.
Tinder, and other dating apps alike, are arguably the most reliable ways to find a hookup. Even if girls are looking for a longterm partner on a dating app, they're usually okay with fooling around in the process.
With that being said, swipe right! Log on to your favorite dating up, spruce up your profile a little bit, and go for it! Swipe right on a ton of girls. Swipe right on any girl that you would be remotely interested in sleeping with because with dating apps you have to cast your net extremely wide. Because let's be honest, you're not going to message have the girls and they're probably not going to message first. It's harder to message first when you don't know the person.
They're going to feel less obligated to reply since they don't know you. It's hard to establish that connection with a bad pickup line and a cheesy gif. Message a large number of your matches and see if anything sparks!
Set a time to meet up at a bar or a party and see if anything catches fire in real life! Do you know a girl, but not well enough to have her number? Do you and a girl habitually like each other's tweets, but never really talk?
Maybe it's time to actually talk to your WCW. There is no harm in sliding into a girl's DMs. It's less nerve-wracking then messaging a girl you already know pretty well, and you're more likely to get a response than you are by hitting on Tinder girls. Like one of her tweets or grams and then follow it up with a compliment in her DMs. Don't be afraid to be a little more flirty than you usually would be; girls get plenty of guys sliding into their DMs, you're going to definitely need to stick out from the pack if you want a response.
If she responds, take that as a good sign and try to keep the conversation going.
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